Welcome to Smoking Cures
Smokers die young, non-smokers die inexplicably
Smoking when pregnant makes you look fat
Smoking Kills : No shit Sherlock
Fags : They just confuse Americans
Smoking kills but war's more effective
Protect Children : Smoke the first half for them
Cancer : Posh boy's answer to "Can't smoke"
Make my day - pretend to cough !
Sorry it's my last one
Got a light ?
I smoke after sex. Wanna cigarette ?
Those aren't nicotine stains. My teeth are suntanned from smiling.
Marlboro Lights - They wouldn't sell if they didn't
If I didn't smoke I'd just punch puritans
I'm a chain smoker - chains last longer
Don't smoke ? What do you do after sex ?
Caution Heavy Smoker : The diet starts tomorrow
Not Smoking ? Well go and do it outside then
Pity me ... I'm an addict
Cigarette Butler : Frankly my dear I don't give a damn
... and don't forget the mints
My Mum asked the government to moan on her behalf
WARNING : Nagging gets on my nerves
Gonna die ? Have a smoke and enjoy it
Fuck it - I can't even spell emphysema
Advertise your mouthwash here ...
Never give cigarettes to children - always sell them!
Smoking only effects people around you who breathe
Smoking charms those around you
Be A Winner - Be A Smoker
Go on, Roll Another One
Get special seating at most restaurants
Smoking is harmful to children - help solve the overpopulation problem
Two words: Smoke Rings
Long painful deaths are in these days
Nicotine: no less addictive than riboflavin
SMOKERS ONLY chat rooms always full of winners
You can deal with assholes better
Stick your rizla here
Don't Drink and Drive, Smoke and Fly!
Eddie van Dorland
SMOKING HARMS IF YOU DON'T GIVE YOUR MATES ONE!
Smoking - still more acceptable in public than masturbation
Smoking deters women with crying babies sitting near you
Smoking - you too can sound like Madge from Neighbours.
Why be selfish? Teach your dog to smoke too.
Smoking can help you give up nose-picking
Smoking - you don't need to worry about a pension plan
Cigarettes - keep you safe in prison
Jehovah's Witnesses don't smoke. Don't risk looking like one
Smoking Is CoooL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sterility from smoking cures paternity suits
Smoking cough is attractive
Fatal diseases cure boredom
It's good to be social
natalie myers, john bundy
It's a great way to waste 10 mins
filtered for your pleasure
smoking seriously decreases child abuse
smoking available through peer presure
smoking, its puts lead in your pencil
smoking ages the skin, gives you character lines, makes you look distinguished
smoking - who said i can't commit
relax unwind and feel refined?
You should have a 'menthol' section and a 'lights' section.
Nothing clears the sinuses like a Menthol smoke
Smoke lights when you can't handle full strength
Lights; the Huggies pull-ups of cigarettes
Smoke 'Em If you got 'Em
Smoking : Gets you extra breaks
I am smoking a fag!
Ich bin ein smoker!
You want cancer? buy yer own bloody fags!
Only 400 poisonous chemicals!
I'm not an addict, I just like fags!
Lung transplant not included
Imported by British smugglers
Support the NHS, smoke a fag.
May contain traces of cannabis
Suitable for vegetarians
Say hello to my little friends
Smoking in bed may help you sleep
Smoking will increase the size of your balls
SMOKING MIGHT KILL YOU, BUT NOT BEFORE I DO
SMOKING MIGHT MAKE YOU INFERTILE, BUT WHO WANTS KIDS ANYWAY?
Smoking makes you look hard as fuck
Beagles love it - They cant all be wrong.
Don't like passive smoking? Try the real thing, it's much better!
KEEP YOUR HANDS BUSY
Smoking whilst pregnant calms your baby.
Smoking...funding the NHS for nearly 60 years.
My cigs. My body. My choice.
Smoke more. You're going to die anyway.
Cigarettes. A drink's too wet without one.
smoking seriously increases your number of friends
smokers care less about their health and are therefore more fun to be around (ok I know it doesn't fit)
smoking - it's big and it's clever
It's Big and it's Clever
Look Behind u
fancy a fuck
My name is (blank)
oi oi lee sachell you bastard stop tryin to shag the birds and fight the geezers
Also available in C. Sativa and S. Divinorum flavours as well as original Tobacco. Try all three!
Share with your friends at social events
Actually, these's are my friends' fags, I don't smoke myself.
Suck on this baby
Smoking can help you get to heaven
Don't just smoke, toke!
Just do it!
Smoking: Better than not smoking.
Smoking: What surgery was invented for.
Smoking, kills all known germs.
how about a collection of swap-able stickers... "great smokers" #1 = James Dean and soforth?
hey, it's only cancer!
let's face it kids, you want to smoke because it's cool
Passive smoking: if ya gonna die ... take someone with ya !
Santa brings children who smoke more presents
Pensions are cheaper for smokers
£3.37 from the pack donated to the NHS and other good causes
Second hand smoke causes second hand coolness
SMOKING MAKES YOU LOOK BIG AND CLEVER
A ciggarette can be enjoyed with an alchoholic beverage.
Breath smoke into peoples faces so they can enjoy your smoke too
Extra light ciggarettes are for fannys
FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH SMOKING CAN MAKE YOU SERIOUSLY UNCOOL!!
A fag a day helps you work, rest and play
I'm sponsored by cancer research
I don't like the surgeon general anyway
This week, I have been mostly smoking...
You don't like smokin - I DONT Belieeve it!
Chain smoke: Your treasury needs you.
Your treasury needs you: Light up NOW!
Smoking - the art of sucking and blowing
Carbon Minoxide 7mg
Smoked meat hangs Longer
Rehab is for quitters!!
Frank Mc Carthy
SMOKING IS MY CHOICE SO FUCK OFF.
Passive Smokers Should Buy Their Own
H.M. Government Warning: Smoking Seriously Shortens Your Cigarettes
The Lungs are evil & must be punished
100% of non-smokers die
Smoking is cleverer than science
I smoke therefore I look ace
Smoking is like carpet bombing your lungs with healthy smoke bombs
Cigarettes are funny and popular at school
SMOKER'S DON'T GET OLD
I like smoking.
Go on,have a fag!
Smoking will give your hair an attractive yellow tinge.
Nicotine and tar are really good for you.
rach & lou
We've all got to die somehow....
There's no such thing as bad publicity!
Go on - you know you want one...
A husky voice is a sexy voice
Start a relationship - ask me for a fag
Don't pay me for one - buy your own!
It's the Governments fault I'm poor..
Cigarettes - more loyal than a dog.
Bury Me With A Fag In My Mouth
Extra Time? Roll Your Own
Ssmmookkiinngg Ccaauusseess Ddoouubbllee Vviissiioonn
Smokers have bigger dicks
I smoke - get over it
If your mum didn't smoke she'd be minging
Smoking gives 3rd world countries an income
How shit do you think the NHS would be without me smoking?
Smoking - makes the budget easy
Smoking is nearly as cool as cocaine
You too can look like Michael douglas
in only 40 packs.
Steak and potatos mmmmm.
Smoking is delightful!
Passive Smoking is stealing. Buy your own.
Smoking seriously increases your chances with the opposite sex.
Smoking damages your perm.
HEY, IT'S ONLY LUNG DISEASE
A FAG A DAY, FLOATS THE STRESS AWAY
SMOKING KILLS HUNGER
LIGHTER NOT INCLUDED
SMOKING:THE ONLY ANSWER TO BOREDOM
LOOK COOL, EVEN IF YOUR UGLY
SMOKING KILLS...WHAT DOESN'T?
SMOKING:AIDING MISCARRIAGE SINCE THE 1900'S
SMOKING WHEN DRUNK IS A MUST
LIFE INSURANCE DOUBLES WITH CANCER
CAN I BUM A FAG?
THE OZONE LAYER? WHO NEEDS THAT
TAKE AS PART OF A BALANCED DIET
SMOKING CURES AWKWARD SILENCES
SMOKING INCREASE ATTRACTIVNESS
GREAT HAND AND MOUTH ACTION
SMOKERS HAVE MORE FRIENDS
Smoking prolongs life.
Your gonna die anyway so why worry about smoking.
Smoking gives you a bigger willy.
If you don't want your wife to have kids...
Brittany Spears smokes (enough said)
Smoking prevents anti ageing
Smoking makes you a better dancer.
Smoking is the new black
If your not reading this you deserve to die anyway.
Smoking makes you smell nicer.
How can you have a pull through without baccy?
Buy me, Buy me and your life will be better.
Non smokers are anti social
Smoking is good whilst having a poo
Smoking makes you famous
Smoking gives you a hairy chest.
"My middle name is danger"
"Man of steel"
Smoking It makes you look well 'ard
Smoke, live fast and die faster
Don't leave home without these
Warning Can make you look Cool
Smoking causes impotence, so shag first
Smoking - better than burning
Smoking keeps tobacco leaf pickers employed
Smoking kills. Almost as much as driving
Nobody reads these signs anyway
The oldest person in the world smokes
Passive Smoking: Don't complain your getting all the good stuff for free
Smoking: Helps avoid awkward silences after sex.
Smoking: When killing your liver with booze is just not enough.
Smoking between meals ruins your appetite
Have a break, have a cigarette
Smoke gets in your eyes because I am smoking!
Im smoking for Britain
Warning: Smoking more than 100 cigarettes a day is bad for your health
Recommended Daily Dosage: one pack
Do not let badgers breath your smoke
Do not smoke near flammable children
Im an addict and proud!
A cigarette a day keeps the doctor away (or)
A cigarette a day helps you work, rest and play
9/10 smokers prefer smoking to quitting
I may be a smoker but you are a twat!
This is my second pack today
Best served with beer
Hey, we are all gonna die!
No (for when someone asks you for a cigarette)
Yes (on the other side, if that person is a fit girl)
I am a fat smoker (for the fat smoker)
I smoke therefore I am
God is a smoker
I am aware that this is a non-smoking area, but I dont give a damn
Instructions: light, suck, cough, die
Smoking saves you money on food
Smoke and the world smokes with you
Not suitable for non-smokers
Dont bother asking for one
I hate non-smokers
There is a God
Smoking causes deep throat cancer
Serving Suggestion: A pint of beer and a fine lady
Support kill a non-smoker day
Kill non-smokers to show that their health is at risk too
I am an evil smoker!
No cigarettes were harmed in the making of this box
Smoking! It tremendous fun
Franky says relax
If i wasnt smoking id be picking my ass
Yes im smoking to annoy you
The fonz smokes,Richie doesnt
I smell of smoke you smell of shit
Smokers die cooler
Yes my teeth are naturally yellow
Smoking during masterbation makes god laugh
give in to peer presure. look your already wearing them big hoopy ear rings.
Join The Club And Become A Chain Smoker
43 Cigs A Day Makes You The Bomb In Bed
All you need to do now is add the BOODA
smoking.Killing people since 1581.
all i need now is a kiss
giv me a fag or ill shoot ya
Smoking - smells nice, and looks good too!
Smoking - because we all just wanna be cool
Smoking - hey, at least it's not an intravenous drug!
Filters decrease chances of pink-phlemgy upbringing
God created Grass, man created cigarettes, who do you trust??
Smoking - listen to the voices, you want another one
Smoking - fuck nicotine patches, try the real thing!
Smoking pays for the NHS
Smoke, Drugs & RocknRoll
Smoke - the shopkeeper has a mortgage to pay!
100% of non-smokers die
Smoking is big, hard, cool AND clever
Smoking reduces the risk of fatal heart and lung disease
Chimps can do it, why shouldn't I?
Smoke contains benzene, nitrosamines, formaldhyde and hydrogen cyanide - so what? It's not like I know what they are.
It's only bad for you if you care
SMOKING - DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT
I live in London I don't want my sence of smell
EX Smokers - F*ck off!
Do you BBQ?
Enjoy a fireplace?
Why pick on us?
Live and let live.
I need a cigarette
Danger: hot rocks
smoke em like you love em!
you could get hit by a bus
Go buy yer'own!
Who wants to live forever?
Also available in red!
Take one! Pass it on!
Smoking: Just add skunk.
Be like me - love fags.
Don't drink and drive. Smoke and drive.
Protect Children: Buy them lights.
Proud to be a chimney.
Smoking: At the heart of the working class.
Warning! Steal my fags and die!
We put the "King" in Smoking.
Not smoking seriously damages your reputation.
Big Micky Joylove
At least I'm not on smack
Smoking cures constipation
Don't lecture me
Why are you staring at my cigarettes?
I smell because i smoke- what's your excuse?
You complain because you're jealous
Smoking is highly addictive, so be sympathetic
If my smoking bothers you then go away.
Save time- smoke 2 at once
Does anyone ever read these?
Complaining about smoking is extremely dangerous- don't do it
Smoking disguises bad breath.
Save while you smoke: try buying multipacks.
90% of RRP goes to good causes.
Maximise pleasure: Smoke right down to the butt.
It's the nicotine wot makes you want 'em.
Your first cigarette may cause illness but do not be put off.
Why quit? You could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
Increase satisfaction: try a stronger brand.
Don't ponce, buy your own.
Smoking seriously enhances your coffee breaks.
Life shit? Light up!
My nan is 97 and has smoked 60 a day since she was 12.
An essential companion for class A drugs.
Wrinkles make you look distinguished.
Cancer's not so bad once you get used to it.
Smoking: It gives so much and asks so little.
Smokers have tough lungs.
Tobacco smoking is an ancient tradition in many cultures.
Smoke vigorously in order to get a head rush.
Kids: Your parents will eventually accept that you smoke.
Continual smoking makes your voice husky and therefore sexy.
Smoking: You might as well.
How can you know if you've never tried it?
Stop coughing, pussy!
Smoking: Make it your last request.
Filters are for wimps.
Smoking: The pros outweigh the cons.
Cigarettes: Alcoholic drinks are too wet without them.
Your ancestors fought for your right to smoke.
Cigarettes: like crack, but without the violence.
Yeah, we can't quite believe we're allowed to sell you these either.
Smoking makes your ears massive
100% tested on Beagles.
Smoking the great leveler, eventually.
Stress, 20 a day can't be wrong.
Smoke contains benzene,nitrosamines,formaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide. SO WHAT!
Non-Smokers Kill Happiness
Keep smoking please, you're paying my taxes
Smokers Diet Younger
Dave Dawson and Chris Brooke
11:30 - Diet Smoke break (on packets of "Lights")
If found, then you're a lucky git
Frequent smoking makes your nob get bigger
gangster deluxe fc
fuck dis im dyin 4 a cig!
smoking makes u sterile.
a cheap and effective form of contraception
youve got a pint in one hand, what do u do with your other?
p.s. (u cant masturbate in public)
Try Smoking, Or Die Ignorant
Don't Be Soft, Have a Smoke
He Who Dares, Smokes
the only type of fag i'll be smoking tonight...
Teenagers: Rebel through smoking
Go on, fill yer boots
Tobacco smoke is rich, smooth and satisfying
Your family will look good in black
Try blowing smoke rings to impress your friends
Ashtrays can be decorative
Got a light? (sponsored by Clipper)
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil...
Have a pack gift-wrapped and surprise someone you love
CONTAINS HARMFUL CHEMICALS.
SO DOES IRAQ,
You really don't want to read this sign
Proud Sponsors of Cancer Research
Why wait for the inevitable!
Tastier than patches!
I buy lights so I can smoke more!
Light one of these, and a taxi will appear.
Smoking: It's more expensive to quit!
Smoking When Pregnant Harms Your Mutant
Smoking - It's cheaper than crack.
Not suitable for people with lungs.
For when a beer isn't enough.
Every evil villain's essential film prop.
smocking keeping mp's jags running since 1900
smokers get more breaks at work
smoking keeping corner shops in buisness since 1950
SMOKING KEEPS YOU SLIM
smoking stops fat chicks
CIGARETTES because everyone needs a hobby.
Matticus and lil Mikey
Ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies!
Passive smoking is bad for you
fancy a schmoke and a pancake?
Passive Smoking is Theft
Smoking cures Alzheimers so you can't lose your ciggies
Take it up the ass
DON'T BE A QUITTER
lil Mikey and Aschton
A fag a day keeps the doctors on pay
Its only a white stick
So what if they kill me? they're ffaaaagss!
smoking:Your first step to hard drugs
The difference between non smokers and smokers is that no one cares if you don't smoke
100% of non smokers die anyway!
Smoking stops men falling asleep after sex
Smoking after sex means your not doing it right
Smokers keep students in education
Smokers pay for all non smokers to get old
Energy 0kcal, Protein 0g, Carbohydrate 0g, Fat 0g, Fibre 0g, Sodium 0g
Serving Suggestion: Use with Alcohol
Andy 'The RoK' McColl
Smokers make better lovers
Dot Cotton's still rocking and she's ancient!
Bill Hicks gave up THEN died!
All the fit lasses toke!
I'd give up if i didn't think i would become a typical non-smoker!
Free world - FUCK YOU! You're just jealous i can afford it!
Greatly enlarged my circle of friends at school! And College! And Uni! And Work! And on the respitory ward!
I'm keeping Peruvian farmers busy!
I don't need a pension I smoke
Smoking: seriously increases your popularity!
The last 10 years of life ar shit anyway!
The best way to start your day!
Smoking increases your sex appeal!
love the smell of smoke
kiss a butt then
smoking gives you great
tingling feelings all over your body
a ten pack a day
stops you wasting your money
on a gym membership
smoking damages organs
but leave you with cool scars
stop complaining oxygen thief
smoking while pregnant
of having twins
smoking enhances the drugs you are on
If you can read this your too close to my fags
I smuggled these in from France
Making tax stamps next
Fags: not as good as cocaine.
Smoking is good for your lungs and throat.
97% of somokers ignore these warnings.
Read this warning to the smoker and receive a reward.
Go ahead, smoke! See if I care.
No, I do not have a cigarette lighter!
If you loved me, you'd light me.
Smoking didn't kill the Red Indians, we did.
Long, white and deadly.
Stick some dried leaves in your mouth and set fire to them!
Caution: Highly Inflammable.
Attention: Keep out of range of smoke alarms.
A lit cigarette in the presence of a gas leak can be fatal!
Warning: Keep away from naked flames.
One million beagles can't be all wrong.
Note: Unsuitable for use in zero gravity environments.
Smoke adds life!
Important: Light the white touch paper and retire.
Do not return to a lit cigarette!
In the event of fire douse with lager.
Cowboys smoke for a good reason.
When you can't find a cheroot...
P p p pick up a packet!
Light me - don't bite me!
A fag a day keeps the doctor in pay.
smoking does not harm your body in any way
each cigarette takes 10 minutes of your life.... yes it takes those last few years where you sit in a chair pissing yourself!
smoking prevents child abuse!!!
quitting is dangerous, you are at risk of obesity, mood swings and becoming damn right unsociable!!!
Be suave: Light two at once and pass one to your lady
It's either this or old age
Rolled by Jesus, moistened with Claudia Schiffer's pussy juice. (Bill Hicks R.I.P.)
Be sure to stock up at the duty-free shop
Bit skint? Buy a 10-pack!
Keep cigarettes handy to combat sudden nicotine cravings
As habits go its better than eating your boogers
Accepted by most beggars if you have no spare change
ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS HERE call 0800-123456 for details...
Smoking is an art form
You may smoke freely whilst driving a vehicle
Smoking is not a crime.
Shed pounds with the 'nicotine diet'.
Smoking is amazing.
SMOKING NEAR OTHERS
GIVES AWAY FREE SMOKE.
WHY LET THOSE FUCKERS
GET IT FOR FREE?
Smoking: It's my choice so fuck off!
Smoking: you don't complain when the monkey's do it
No your bum won't look big in these
See God Quicker-Smoke
My lungs are a cool colour
I get more breaks than you
Can I taste Almonds?
Dont be silly : Have a fag.
Smoking is the dog's bollocks.
Making people look double 'ard since 1581.
Keeping the NHS on their toes.
An excuse for fat and lazy people.
Would you give someone your last cigarrete?
Smoking makes you look bigger, better and stronger.
Buy me and smoke me...... I dare you.
smoking stops me from hitting smug non - smokers
fuck reaching old age
Breakfast of Champions
I Choke, You Choke, We All Choke For Fag Smoke
Death is not the end, it's a journey into the next life.
Create a 'lucky' cigarette: Remove, turn upside down, replace in pack.
Help - I'm being held hostage in the cigarette factory!
Where else can you get 4000 chemicals for under a fiver?
Superkings - spend less, smoke more.
Non smokers can suck my dick.
Nicotine is good, nicotine is great, if you don't smoke, then you really really should!
But I Die Happy
the streets are mean.. smoking keeps them clean!!
Smoking inspires you creatively, particularly at night.
Cigarette smoke keeps flying insects away from your face during hot weather.
Giving up fags is worse than a slow, painful death.
Buy Duty Free - the health warnings are in a different language and they're smaller too.
These cigarettes should reach you in critical condition. No, wait...
Thank you for your continuing loyal custom despite clear medical evidence showing how unbelievably bad smoking is for you.
Have another one - you still have 5 minutes of your break left.
Smoking: Stock up before they make it illegal!
Doctors? Pah! What do they know anyway?
Nicotine patches make you twisted and resentful.
Just ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?".
Caution: smoking certain brands of cigarette backwards creates subliminal satanic smoke.
Go on, splash your mates!
Think of smoking as a crutch to lean on in times of stress.
Homeless people: Stay warm with a cigarette.
Life is a cigarette...You smoke to the end! ("Pumpin On Your Stereo" by Supergrass)
Smokers - Our kind of people.
I don't have time to count my sperm, thanks all the same.
Buy me, smoke me, cast me aside like the slut that I am...
Warning: Smoking can cause heart attacks due to pleasure overload
"My other fags are Benson's"
I already bought a lighter
This is so cool
The machine took my money
Big up the white and orange!
We should do this more often
I like to smoke it, smoke it!
Smoking makes clubbing easier
Girls/boys like smokers
Better than celery
The cigarettes are talking!
Oh no, I'm nearly empty
You can make a profit if you sell them on
Choo choo baby!
Smoking is Highly addictive, if you don't smoke, don't judge!
smoking makes you lose weight!!
smoking gives you such a buzzz!
smoking so great that it make me want a shag!!!
©2003 Chris Pollard, Tom Matterson, Matthew Pollard, Richard Smith & Ian